By Keith C. Milne
July 23, 2022
I LOVE Dogs! ALL OF THEM. Dogs are like the spirits of people trapped inside their furry bodies, unable to tell us what they really want or need unless it’s through an amazing combination of body language that includes energetic excitement, whimpering and/or barking, panting, dancing and prancing that they let us know virtually everything that matters to them.
I have had the privilege of taking care of nine dogs in my life, the two in my present life included. They have all been just as individual as you or I, each of them having their own unique preferences, habits, dislikes, and trigger points for anger, barking, chasing, or growling. Each of them, in their own ways have always shown their gratitude for being a family member by giving me and others in my household lots of love, and each of them have also taught me myriad little things about myself that I didn’t know before having them in my life.
I think one of the most important things that my furry friends have made me aware of about myself is my own capacity to give and receive love every single day unconditionally. At the very least, they have all had a hand in allowing me to see through their living example, and to become far more aware of my own capacity for understanding, and of being able to give back with love in my heart, engaging with them in nearly constant acts of kindness. I spend lots of time with them every single day ensuring that we are continually renewing our intricate and intimate connection by living together, looking at one another, being close to one another, and continually learning and reinforcing that we can count on one another while communicating with our eyes and our bodies.
The connection, the trust, the comfort, the love is ever present, powerful and very real.
While not intending to compare humans to canines whatsoever, I will say that the experience of parenting a permanent toddler for up to two decades, is not unlike raising a child with a few differences. The child grows up and needs less and less care overtime, whereas the puppy will grow into a dog, but still need your constant care and attention and even more so when they become elderly.
Indeed, teaching a newborn puppy to pee-pee outside is rewarding, just as teaching a toddler to finally go on his or her potty seat can be as well! Getting your buddy to walk the way you need, behave the way you need, as well as dealing with the occasional skirmish with other dogs and other animals are only half the fun. Let’s not forget about all the little children who unintentionally mistreat without realizing what they are doing, and all of the older men who think affection is measured by how hard they pat (smack) the back or side of my poor dog. And, while we’re at it, let’s not forget all the poop that needs to be bagged and all of the puke that will need to be cleaned up over the years that are also a part of dog ownership!
Despite all of that gross imagery, doing these things for your pet, are simply a part of responsible dog ownership, of caring, of being in custody and in charge of another living creature. But these acts foster the love, and understanding between your pet and you, and helps form, then cements the bond and hardens your commitment to continue to care for your loved one until the day you must say goodbye to one another for good.
I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that Dogs somehow know who is good and who is not. Pay attention to a calm dog that suddenly gets its hair on its back a little raised up and a low growl forms in it’s throat when someone new walks into view and it seems right out of left field! The dog knows or can see or sense the darkness in that person. I would posit that such a person might be there to do harm or to scout out the potential for some type of nefarious activities.
A long time ago I was sitting on my front porch with my neighbor from across the street giving out Halloween candy to all the kids in the neighborhood who were trick-or-treating. With us, was a large, 60 pound mainly Labrador dog that lived in the neighborhood and was a free spirit left behind by one of the construction workers who built the houses in my then new neighborhood. We called this dog “Blackie.” Blackie liked both myself, and my neighbor Tom, and used to come around quite often to just say hi! and hang out for awhile before meandering off to somewhere else in the neighborhood.
We had been giving out candy for about a half hour or so when this man and a woman with six kids slowly walked up my driveway towards the porch where we were sitting, and the minute that man stepped onto the walkway from the driveway, Blackie suddenly started growling and all the hair on his backside stood up. As the man walked closer, Blackie jumped up and started barking really intensely! The man stopped, the kids kept coming and all ended well, but there was something with that man that Blackie DID NOT LIKE! I remember wondering for quite awhile afterwards what “darkness” Blackie saw or sensed in that man to make him react that way!? It was only that one time with that one guy, but what a reaction it was!
It is so tragic to me that so many of these sensitive, loving souls find themselves trapped in horrific living conditions and tortured with too much food, not enough food or water, too much noise, too much stimulus, zero love and attention, or punished when they act out or are just defending themselves from harm. Passed around from one shelter to another, unless they are unlucky enough to live in a state that still uses mass killing gas chambers for unwanted or never adopted pets, sadly, some never make it to their forever home.
I remember while growing up thinking that owning a “pure bred dog” would somehow give me a notch up when comparing dogs with others. Wow! was I wrong! I have owned both and I will not say one is better than the other because it just isn’t so. Moreover, when I think of the parallels between that and Nazism or just racism in general it makes me sick. The dogs that are here with us did not have a choice about being in this world anymore than we did, but they do need us to take care of them. I do not say that lightly either.
Dogs are not sub-creatures that can be treated inhumanely simply because they are not human. Domesticated Dogs are highly evolved pack animals that can thrive in the pack your family provides, but they need to be taught, cared for, groomed, fed, and given medical oversight for their entire lives.
Dogs are our teachers! Indeed, dogs are here to teach us things about ourselves that we don’t yet know, but will develop in their presence-revealing both the good and bad within us under various circumstances. Owning a dog will reveal your character and show you what you are made of under all kinds of different circumstances, including what you will do with the power you have over another living creature.
Will you be kind or cruel? Will you be patient or impatient? Will you take your anger out on your dog physically when you get pissed off about something that your dog had nothing to do with? Will you care whether or not your dog is on the couch or your bed? Are you going to get mad or worse at your animal for something totally out of their control, like shedding?
Will you walk your dog? Will you REGULARLY groom your dog? Will you love your dog? Talk to your dog? Pat your dog a lot? Will you freak out and beat your dog when you wake up at 2 a.m. to pee and step in a pile of vomit or soft poop that your pet couldn’t help because they were sick from the crap they shouldn’t be eating that you gave them while watching TV? Or, will you just hop into the bathroom, clean your foot, then get your buddy and make sure he/she is okay, then let them know that you know they didn’t mean to do that and that it’s okay while cleaning it up?
You see? Like with kids, elders, or bugs . . . or anything frail or vulnerable . . . it is the test . . . of you, of your character. Shape it with behavior that is moral and good. Step up and make it right for them and for you and for the world.
See the parallels to child rearing? I will never have children of my own making at this point in my life, but I have experienced being charged with the responsibility of pet ownership numerous times, and looking back across the years at the various pets I’ve had the privilege of caring for, and the various time periods and circumstances in my life at the time I was charged with the various pets, and I can really see how pet ownership has allowed me to fulfill my own sense of generativity, despite not having had a child-rearing experience.
Dogs provide the structure many of us need, like having to get up to let the dog out to pee or poop. Yes, now that you have a dog, you must do this regularly. You must walk them regularly, and feed them regularly, and bath them once in awhile, and give them their flea and tick meds, and play with them! Without a dog, you’d still be in bed getting fat! Now you’re outside first thing in the morning going for a walk! How about that?
Dogs operate with rhythm. If you pay attention you will notice how it revolves around the natural light cycle. They wake to light, want to exercise, eat, relieve themselves, procreate, nap, nap some more, exercise some more, eat some more, play some more, then sleep all night! It’s great! Dogs can easily show you how to be still and quiet and rest. Dogs get you out of your own head and out in the world. They force you to focus on them once in awhile. It’s not just about you, it’s about YOUR FAMILY. Take me out, play with me, feed me, pat me, walk me.
Caring for dogs has been a full-circle experience for me. What I have given to my furry friends, I have gotten back ten-fold from them. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful friends that I’ve made over the years.
Thank you all for all of your lessons!
(Sadly, I do not have any pictures of some of my earlier pets)