By Keith C. Milne
If you are feeling anxious, angry, depressed, sad, or generally ill-at-ease these days, you’re not alone. Mental illness is on the rise, and has reached almost historic levels in the aftermath of the COVID-19 epidemic, which, along with killing over 1 million Americans, caused a domino effect of supply chain problems, employment problems for many people, and unprecedented social isolation for even more of them. Combine that with the rise of political toxicity, hyper-inflation (for awhile), continual employment churning, two wars going on in the world, and other socio-economic forces all forming a perfect storm of maladaptive mental issues the likes of which the mental health treatment profession has never witnessed before.
I was recently told by a therapist friend that he now tells many of his patients that happiness, or feeling well, content, or mood positive most often has now become a job that you have to actively work at. Personally, I agree, and have come to that same conclusion on my own from living long enough, and experiencing enough to know the truth in that statement. I have also learned that the happy feelings that so many actively pursue, are being pursued in non-productive ways. Sure, many pursue feeling great from exercise. Check. Eating well. Again, check. Getting plenty of sleep, check. But that, that’s where many let things become a little skewed.
Too many people are now online most of their day. They wake up with their phones right next to them. They immediately go online to see who said what about them or about so-and-so. They want to check sports scores, see if their latest post was liked a lot, or just waste time cruising other peoples crazy antics on Tik-Tok, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter (Sorry, can’t accept X). After they leave for work, many are on computers all day, but still have latitude to do some surfing, even if it’s on their breaks. The net is much less meaningful social contact with others.
Human beings are social creatures. We like to think we can forge out life without others, but we’re deluding ourselves if we truly buy into this thinking. Social media IS NOT social! It only seems like it. So after a day full of online everything, perhaps we go to the gym or exercise alone at home or go for a job (if we’re at least trying somewhat to stay healthy) and that’s a good thing, but it’s still not what’s needed in the way of others. The aim here, to feel better, is to have a friend or two or three, that are your buddies. These are the people who can, and will listen to you, and likewise share their dreams and fears with you also, in a non-competitive, caring way, and IN PERSON, not texting.
The framework we end up with as a starting point for mental wellness is grounded in traditional, conventional wisdom, which simply points to balance in how much of any one thing we indulge in. Too much of anything, never ends well for any of us. The skeleton is made from getting enough sleep, predominantly eating nutritionally dense, organically grown foods, with little or no animal constituents in our diet, getting daily exercise, having positive, meaningful relations with others, and limiting how much negativity we let ourselves be exposed to on any given day from ALL SOURCES. That means you’ll have to learn to limit how much television you view, and how much time you’re spending sitting in your favorite seat doing nothing active with your mind. Surfing the web or social media with the television blaring in the background isn’t really conducive to being a happy individual.
I used to think that if I did all the things I just mentioned that I should be able to know happiness 99% of the time. (Can you hear the buzzer going off here?) Bzzz-Bzzz, Wrong! Those are the things that support happiness, or give you a greater potential for knowing happiness. True happiness needs to be actively pursued. You certainly won’t find it online or on your big screen.
What I’ve discovered for myself is that my degree of happiness on any given day is almost directly proportional to the amount of creative activity I’ve engaged in, or not. If I’ve done nothing at all during the day other than sit or lay around engaging in passive activities, like television, social media consumption, or cruising the web for whatever I can uncover, then I find myself feeling pretty miserable at the end of the day. If, on the other hand, I’ve spent my time writing, like I’m doing right now, actively using my mind to share my own personal journey and experiences with you, I feel really good afterwards. Correction: I feel pretty amazing while I’m actively writing.
This effect is even more potent while writing fiction, because it gets your mind rolling a movie that you’re recording with your keyboard or freehand on your notepad, and it gives you the latitude to make up any world or existence or circumstance imaginable. Don’t like the world you’re currently living in? Make up a much better world on paper or your computer. Feeling angry? Write all about it. Make up a scene where you confront the person or group the anger belongs to and get revenge. Kick ass on those bad guys, and make them pay. It’s cathartic as hell, and harms no one. It’s a non-violent way to purge negative feelings and/or create the world, universe, or circumstances to your liking. The real key is ACTIVE rather than passive.
I also understand that writing isn’t for everyone, although I don’t think many have given writing a fair chance, they merely assume that they have nothing to say. Fine. No problem. There are so many other creative choices available to you. For example, drawing and painting are incredibly cathartic choices as well. In ways similar to writing, creating visual art of any kind: flat, 3D, mixed media, water color, oil, acrylic. You choose. Paper or canvas or a piece of scrap wood from the shed? You choose. It’s fun, and it’s surprising what comes from within yourself when you engage your creative mind and involve, and immerse yourself in making something new and uniques from scratch. Don’t be afraid. Embrace the truth and see what comes from it.
Music is another avenue. While listening to some music can be soothing, most music isn’t soothing at all, and can often add to a negative mood or exacerbate it in undesirable ways, and the whole endeavor is relatively passive. Playing an instrument, or learning how to play one, on the other hand, is an entirely different animal, and is another welcome guest in the room of creative outlets.
A trip to an arts and crafts store is often a great way to get the creative juices flowing, and can foster new ideas for a craft project or help with ideas and have all the supplies needed to make something new or different all in one, convenient place. Let your imagination run, then figure out what you’ll need to get started, and then GET STARTED. My advice: always keep it simple. Always.
You see? Creative endeavor. Working with your hands. Using your mind. Making something new or unique from scratch. Reading a book and using your mind, instead of watching anything. Carving wood, wood burning. Gluing dissimilar items into a work of art with a hot glue gun, quilting, knitting, working on puzzles, building models, baking and cooking new things, actively doing things with your mind and/or your hands will set you free. Still skeptical? Don’t prejudge it. Try it.
If you like it, then go back for more. Didn’t like it? Then try something else. Just remember to make it something that is ACTIVE, NOT PASSIVE for your mind. No more interpreting and judging someone else’s video, picture, movie, posts, writing, or art work etc. Make something unique by drawing it, painting it, gluing it, baking it, composing it, welding it, and creating it yourself from scratch.
If you give creative pursuit even a little effort, I think you’ll find that the time spent away from your own thoughts, feelings, insecurities, nightmares, worries, and anxieties, will be time well spent. It will be time spent outside of yourself, outside of that mental loop or trap, not thinking about your own personal, seemingly unsolvable problems, or fears. Creative endeavor unleashes a part of ourselves that only creative endeavor can unleash. It also opens up new perspectives to us, while allowing us to take mini-vacations from real life during the time that we manage to set aside and actually allow ourselves to fearlessly let go and be creative.
Well, what are you waiting for? I just gave you permission to go and have, perhaps, one of the most joyful, fun time you’ve had in quite some time. What are you going to create today? I can’t wait to see or hear all about it. Have a blast. You deserve it.