Keith Milne
By Keith C. Milne
I recently joined Facebook. I always said I never would. Why did I change my mind? I’ve asked myself that question many times already. On one hand, I like the ability to stay in touch with others that I know and care about. But it seems like Facebook becomes the only form of staying in touch all too often. Rather than engaging in real, meaningful communication, or actually getting together in person for face to face conversation, it’s just another day of show and tell on Facebook.
I’ll admit, as the years of stubbornly adhering to my resolve to stay off of Facebook for privacy reasons, the feeling grew that I was missing out on something that I knew I’d rather not miss out on. Watching other people spending time on Facebook seemed to be mostly fun. As the years went on, I think I came close to realizing what it is like to be really hard of hearing. Everyone talks right in front of you, but you rarely hear much detail and learn to just smile and nod. When you don’t do Facebook, you become aware of what goes on there by comments by those who do. “Guess who friended me on Facebook today?” “Oh, look how cute so and so’s baby is! They just posted a bunch of their baby pics on Facebook!” And, that’s all fine and dandy, but what about the not so great stuff? Yes, some do post that type of content, and I think for the most part, it makes most of us uncomfortable. We don’t know what to say, so we don’t comment or like it, and the person is left embarrassed. Not always, but often. I can see how, from a psychological perspective, it would be easy if you were experiencing difficulties in your own life to feel like there must be something wrong with you because everyone else is posting only happy things about where they went and what they did.
Hands down, I don’t like the “time sucker” that Facebook is already becoming for me. It’s just another something I now have to tend to everyday. I have multiple email accounts, an investment account at a brokerage, multiple bank accounts, multiple credit cards, all that need me to login regularly to check or pay or adjust or add to or respond to etc. Electronic communication in general is taking up more and more of my time. And, this is despite the fact that I taught myself years ago to touch type, and I can type pretty darned fast now. Just what I needed, another account to log into, scroll through my timeline and like, or get angry or comment about all the posts.
Despite the time spent with our devices growing exponentially, we continue to insist on having it take even more time than necessary by messaging or texting nearly everything we have to say to one another. It’s just so odd that we use the most advanced handheld electronic devices ever created in the history of humanity, to slowly tap out our primitive text and send them back and forth, especially when using our vocal cords can say a hundred times more, in a fraction of the time! But we’re using our devices that we spent a small fortune on, with money we didn’t have to begin with! And, we’re sending pictures and quickie videos and other assorted goodies too! 🙂 Communication as a form of amusing one-upmanship, competing with others to find the most clever video to send or post to our Facebook pages. Or perhaps we’re feeling sad today that we cannot seem to think of anything “worthy” enough to post.
And, good luck not reacting to the political propaganda that is floating all over Facebook. So far, I have only come across President Trump supporter based postings that do their best to spread falsehoods, incorrect statements, and do their best to make it appear as though the picture of the person in the box with the caption is the person who said the phrase in the same box, even though it just isn’t so! Lies, rumors, statements made as facts, when their conjecture and speculation, or just flat lies about liberals, democrats, and progressives, like me. The minute you do react by pointing out how ridiculous the whole post is, or how false it is, even offering evidence to support that it’s a false statement or the like, and the Trumpites pounce on you so fast it’s dizzying. And, they are so hateful and say the meanest things about immigrants, and liberals, and gays, and minorities and on and on, denigrating everyone and everything in their path that doesn’t think Trump is God himself, or that disagrees with the Trumpites way of seeing things! Who the hell needs that? Why even expose yourself to that kind of bullshit. I’ve learned that there is no talking to these folks. There is no getting them to accept facts or evidence to the contrary of what they say or believe. It’s an endless loop that goes on to infinity. My advice to you is to just not go there anymore.
Despite the negative aspects of what I’ve experienced thus far with Facebook, I intend to stick with it. I do like a lot of the posts that people put up, and it’s great to see some of the things that are happening in peoples lives. Last night, I decided that I would clean up my page, and I took down the handful of political posts I had put up. I’m just not going to go there at all anymore with folks. But I will when I see propaganda being spread around! I cannot stand lying and liars. I cannot stand seeing good, honest people being trashed because they believe differently. The parallels to Nazi Germany are shocking at times between what is slowly trying to get started in this country. And, that falls squarely on the shoulders of the liar-in-chief, Donald Trump and those who do their bit on Social Media to spread ugly rumors and lies and the only “fake news” I’ve ever seen in my life before he came along.
If you ever find yourself wanting to just talk to someone, allow it to happen. Don’t hesitate, just say yes, and actually call the person or call them to make a date to get together within a week to have a face to face conversation with that person. This is the way we are meant to communicate more often than not. All other forms of communication are designed to help us stay in touch when we can’t talk face to face, which is and has always been our primary way to communicate. We as humans need other humans and we need to be able to talk to one another about almost anything, otherwise we will blow our own minds trying to figure out everything by ourselves, keeping all those questions and comments and judgments and insecurities and . . . all to ourselves without being able to talk about any of them.
If you’re young, and you know who you are, learn to converse with others well. Learn to start a conversation and make eye contact and VERBALLY TELL another human being your story or what is bothering you or what you did good today.
Say what you may about all these new ways of “staying in touch and sharing,” but nothing, absolutely nothing will ever take the place of real, face to face conversation for me. I miss the hell out of it quite often. I’d rather talk over coffee or wine any day, wouldn’t you?
Update: July 15, 2020
I haven’t been on Facebook now for more than a year! I hated what a time sucker and privacy sucker it was! WHAT A COMPLETE AND UTTER WASTE OF TIME!! As if we have all the time in the world to tend to all the posts of our friends everyday along with all of our endlessly piling up email and other social media. No wonder people are not getting enough sleep. It is a testament to how much importance is actually placed upon tending to the machines and devices in our lives along with all of the corresponding accounts and logins and passwords that have to go along with them. I cannot believe I ever allowed myself to create an account. Shows the power of “The Social.” Once a certain number of people jump onto something, the whole world does! No one wants to be the only one who isn’t in the know or doing what everyone else does! 🙁 It’s exhausting, isn’t it?!
