Keith Milne
By Keith C. Milne
Hey, YOU! can’t you feel my pain? I’ve been trying to talk to you for years, but you never listen to me or hear me. We’ll, maybe you do and you’re just really good at ignoring me. Anyway, now that I have your attention, listen up.
I can’t keep doing this you know. And, don’t try to tell me you have no idea what I’m talking about. You know darn good and well what I’m referring to. Yes, the pain. Why do you think it’s there? Because it’s normal? Hardly. Look, I’m trying to do my job the best that I can. But, we’re a team, you and I, and you haven’t been pulling your weight at all.
First, and foremost, it actually would help me a lot if you would simply sit up straight more often than not. I don’t care if you need to get some kind of support from a doctor or a Chiropractor, do what you gotta do to sit up straight.
Next, abdominal exercises that strengthen your core are extremely good for me. Have you ever thought about yoga? Even stretching would be better than the way you’ve been treating me for so long. I’ve been patient with you, but I can’t take it anymore. Either straighten up or I’m not going to speak to you anymore.
You know you’re at the point of no return. I’m trying to do you a favor, and I really hate to bitch at you or be your nagging nightmare, but man you have pushed me up against the ropes, and now I’m in survival mode.
I could say a lot more, but I think I’ve said it all already. I’m hurting and I need relief. So give me a break okay?
Why do I hurt? I dunno, maybe it was all the head butting you did when you were younger. What about that construction job that nearly killed you?
Then there was all that crack-backing self-manipulation of your spine that you used to do.
Should I even mention those hundreds of big rocks that you hauled with your truck, unloaded into your yard, and moved them, and moved them again, until they were to your nit-picking satisfaction with that long wall.
Enough said. Ignore me in the future at your own risk. You have been told. I need to be treated with more respect or I will make your life so painful! You’ll be shocked that pain can be so severe, and so chronic, and seem like it will never go away, and cause so many visits to the doctor, and maybe need surgeries and . . .
